Session Plans for “sharper” Sessions

I remember the first time someone told me about their problems and I was expected to ask proper questions. It was in a small office in Ang Mo Kio and this woman kindly allowed university social worker students ask her repeatedly about her difficulties and situation. I was equipped with, possibly not a full session plan but a list of questions. 

During my placement and today, session plans help me stay focused in the complex myriad of situations and brings clarity to those who sit in the counselling rooms with me.  

A good session plan is like a road map in which you are somewhat planned for the variety of paths those who consult with you may take. That is not to say we know and dictate the paths, but we are clear about the general focus of the objective of the session and ultimately how it fits into our contracted goals. It helps everyone to stay on track.

But of course there are days in which good session plans have to be set aside. But that’s another tool you use when being a discipline improviser. When you find yourself having internalised all your session plans and have more experience in knowing which questions could be more suitable, you have a repertoire that can be tapped on.  

A session plan also helps me when the day has been stormy and crafting questions beforehand makes asking them a breeze as you are able to listen carefully to what the other person is saying. People deserve your whole presence in the sessions.

Contact me to start individual session about crafting a road map to bring in more influence into your sessions. 

Our Narrative E-book!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxHQnogqaAdLVXdCQ1dSMlZ3T1E/view?usp=sharing

It's free for download and circulation!

A mirror of value, worth

We act as a mirror to others by the way we treat the them. Especially for people who hold power, what is left unsaid, our actions, could pass messages about how we value the humanity, dignity and worth of a friend, child, junior, student, peer or neighbor. Our mirrors can be tarnished: does it require some TLC or some critical reflection polishing? Who gave you trust and believed in you? Who made you feel safe and confident to pursue your goals and takes steps to give practical help and time? 

Supervision: the gift of Apprenticeship and Hands on Support

Apprenticeship and Hands on support

Through the challenges of "handling me" and his vulnerabilities, my supervisor has always been there for me. This guided my own practice with my clients and supervisees as I challenge myself to be supportive on that high standard. Many people don't know my "super caustic nature", and I am able to be be different and remember the commitment to be kind because of what was provided generously to me. Today i hope I brought that into the session, and I also brought in physically this lovely gift that he did after our "appraisal" in 2011. 

SASW subsidies and financial assistance for Supervision

Do you know that SASW provides subsidies for supervision? Employer sponsored supervision will only cost employers $24-30/hr (individual) $34-40/hr (group). Social workers without sponsorship can also seek financial help from SASW.

Info at : http://www.sasw.org.sg/index.php…
 

Tree of life (An intergenerational activity)

A couple of months ago, my boss linked me up with Felicia who worked with elderly in the community (Cluster Support/CREST). She invited her colleague Eng Fong. Our interns Rachel, Louisa and new staff Fadilah joined us. I've done TOL many times but wondered how this intergenerational group would come together. In brief, the group created their trees, shared it with the group, and wrote letters to each other (new worker->seasoned worker->new worker) and read them out in a touching ceremony.

The letter to them below and some of their thoughts lets you into a very special exchange. 

Dear all, 

Thank you so much for your full participation, your steps in openness and generosity in sharing your heart and stories gave rise to so many beautiful moments, in the Oasis room as well as in my Imagination. I really appreciated meeting other workers from THK which are working so hard for the community. Really liked the camaraderie!

Exchange between younger workers and senior workers

This tree of life turned out to be an intergenerational exchange of young workers and senior workers and I really appreciated how you all were moved by each other's words and how those words could make a difference to you or your future. 😭 The ideas that were churned out to deal with the Storm of Life (illness, funding, etc) was really thoughtful for me. The stories of family togetherness, intentional and purposeful care and positive regard and support of the significant people and community was so moving. 

I was just so blown away today. Thank you again for this meaningful time spent with you!  Thanks Kumar for suggesting the younger ones to join. I will forward you guys some readings about exchanging documents :)

Warmly,

Liz

Recipe for soup for days of "inadequacy" and "tiredness"

Looking through my collection of things, I found this lovely recipe I did with Hannah and Ellie during a joint supervision session years back :) Hope it creates a little warmth in your tummies this midweek point!

Life certicate to re-member mom

Just did a Life Certificate (Mohamed Fareez) with a 9 year old. They let me listen to their favorite songs, see favorite places, gifts they were given and will give forward kindness and "not giving up" to his little sibling and friends. They told me their windbreaker was a gift from their parent. They said their parent said to them to not be rude to their g.ma, and to take care of their family and themselves.

We listened to a clip about what their parent appreciated them about the child's acts of "understanding" and "kindness" in their hard times😭. They excitedly chose the special photo for the certificate and a suitable heaven background. We also talked about how we can remember this person.

This little person took the lead in filling up the fields, even with their poor English, added details without any prompting and listened carefully. They suddenly said at the last part: "Will you go home with me? And stay for a little while? My g.ma is still very sad." They drew a large present they want to gift to their parent on their birthday with many many many ❤️❤️for them -With a letter, goodie bag, teddy bear, heart soft toy. 

How do you want to re-member people that were special to you?

Music of life: Listening to the Rhythm of the Histories of Strength and Standing together against Bullying.

Working with a young person who loves music and we'll be working on a song for our therapy work together against bullying and the pain that often comes with it :)

Questions taken from Tree of Life and Team of Life. Try it for yourself. Have a beautiful Tuesday!

Community Love at the Residential Home

    Before i started out as a social worker, i was lucky to come across many social workers who were committed to the social work values. Through their education, guidance and supervision, i was able to practice these in exciting ways in my first job at a residential home. This was where people who were considered destitute, call home. Our residents consisted of older adults, people with disabilities and mental health conditions from a wide range of Activities of Daily Living abilities. I was the home’s first social worker and was tasked to establish a Individualised Care Plan for each of the 120 residents.  At this point, i did a needs assessment to assess the needs of the residents as well as the live-in-staff and local staff. I interviewed staff, residents. The staff were from multiple disciplines (doctor, nurses, caregivers, welfare officers, occupational therapists and physiotherapists, administrators, etc) as well as from different cultures (Singaporeans of different ethnicity and background, Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Philippines). I created template based on biopsychosocial assessment and proceeded to coordinate monthly case conference meetings for the team and the residents to discuss their Individualised Care Plans to collaborate to improve their mental, physical, and sense of meaning through increased support.

    Through my observations, interviews and assessments, i saw that some residents could have a better fit (Person-in-environment fit). but i soon learnt that this required a lot of tact and perseverance as the staff had a mostly permeable boundary (Systems theory), and not comfortable with change due to the culture, beliefs and expectations. Initially, we started small - i would prepare with the resident the steps we were to take, reflecting on their employment history, discuss job strategies and trainings. The occupational therapist, Sze Jie and i strategised and worked together to set up different programmes for the residents according to their needs and strengths. These programmes were reinforced and enriched by a new system of token economy (initiated by Sze Jie), where participation in training, programmes or helping around could earn you a point towards getting milo, snacks or goes towards a trip (my idea) to the neighbourhood foodcourt to practice their purchasing food skills and social skills with volunteers, and their favourite hawker food (very important!).

    This took much perseverance to introduce these different ways of being, and slowly, with a lot of negotiation and hiccups. The residents involved, Sze Jie, some allies and i managed to establish trust and confidence with the rest of the team. We tapped into the banks of care and love for the residents and this community. I supported the residents in this process, together with those too who saw the potential in these residents. The result was the facilitation of 3 residents’ access to employment - One was a licensed street busker, the second a room attendant at a hotel and the third, a chinese masseuse. The first 2 managed to get accommodation and live in the community. and i'm happy that years later i saw the other in the community too. Later, the team was very receptive to more changes, and were committed to bringing their patience into guiding the residents into regular employment routines around the home. I structured the mostly informal and unpaid chores the residents did into the Home Earning Scheme, and involved more residents. We also facilitated many social and training programmes for the staff to meet well being needs. At the end of my employment at the Home, the staff were taking much ownership in improving the quality of life for each individual person at the home.

Clockwise from top left: Our daily morning exercise, buying slippers during the Neighbourhood Trips (NT), Buying Hawker food @ NT, Residents taking over the responsibilities of the Daily Token Economy stall, Visiting the Barber @ NT

How a Case conference morphed into a Ceremony of hope for a Single Mother

Sri had a few children living in a group home (some were recently removed). 1 was in foster care and 2 young ones were living with her.

Patience and positive regard was appreciated by her. We noticed that after meeting, she would have much energy and her children were attending childcare/school regularly and she would seek employment. However, as the next review was up, the attendance and employment would wane. I volunteered to facilitate weekly family access sessions at the children’s home, and keenly took photos and observed the interactions. My supervisee assisted me with some of these sessions too, and we gathered what the children appreciated about their mother.

When the review was coming up and the child protection officer was gathering information for it, it was clear that the case conference with all the various parties including Sri would focus on the missed sessions. I visited Sri’s house and researched about the reasons for the missed sessions and other initiatives she had taken in the last few weeks. I also called up the childcare for their observations which they generously gave to me. I gathered all this, as well as the photos and the observations of my supervisee and i into video presentation. This showcased Sri’s skills in guiding her children, caring for their emotional, developmental and safety needs, the very real practical and legitimate challenges she had as a single mother. Even in the session that she did not turn up, the observations of her children’s skills and qualities, were linked to her skills as a mother to raise these children.

When the case conference started, my co-worker had to go back to the office to get a laptop. The session started with the child protection officer speaking about her disapproval at the poor attendance at the access sessions. When the laptop and Sri finally arrived, we watched the video together and there was a great shift in the attitude of team. They were obviously touched by this side of Sri’s story. They started to affirm her and we started discussing about the next steps of the plan. They also requested for the videos to be sent to them so that they can share it with the children. I made a hard copy for both the children and Sabrina to keep.

This “ceremony” helped to build Sri’s reputation not only with the other professionals in the team but herself. Instead of a mother who constantly failed to perform her parenting duties, we re-authored together to see a mother who faced real challenges and did her best for her children. 

*Recently Sri was having a difficult time and i designed and printed "Precious family scrapbook" (refer to 23 Feb 2017's blog entry) with some outsider witness responses and stories gathered in other re-authoring sessions.

Therapeutic Documents: Documenting Sparkling Moments for Future Possibilities

These are some therapeutic documents created from people's stories. It's a combination of what we call Re-Authoring and Documentation. Sometimes Dominant Stories hold a lot of power with us and people around us. Whether it's stories told by Family or the Child Protection Officer or Ourselves. There are stories though that are untold or hold less recognition with people. Documenting these stories hold power, and sharing them with people can create many possibilities and hope for people. Especially when they are tactile and printed out nicely. These stories are sometimes called Sparkling Moments, Subjugated Stories or Preferred Stories.

(L-R) Booklet in Chinese for an elderly lady, Precious family booklet and Postcards with postcard set envelope for a young person. And yes, i can somewhat type Chinese. My math still sucks as evident from the super tight measurements i used for the postcard envelope.

Making postcards

Did a couple of postcards for this young woman i've had the opportunity to speak to.

I've taken out the more personalized pictures just for her eyes ;) Email me if you want the pdf copy for printing ;)

Looking for a counsellor in Singapore?

Looking of a suitable counsellor that will fit your needs can take some time; and based on my experience in the field, i will share a little of the options and considerations you may find useful. I will only discuss options that are available to most people.

Home visits/ Out of office sessions

Many counsellors or centres may not provide home visits depending on their philosophy towards this issue. As i subscribe to a post-modern philosophy, i believe that there are many ways that home visits can be very helpful. a) when you would like to attend counselling with a family member who feels more comfortable having the counsellor meet them at the home, b) when people have anxiety or difficulty in leaving their home or familiar places. Or you may want to involve someone who is not so mobile or has a disability. c) The counselling room can feel very unnatural to many, and there are some therapists which swear on having their therapeutic moments while gardening together, during waiting or travelling times, or sharing a meal at the hawker centre or coffee shop. d) there are times when due to safety or discretion, you may want to have a session during an extended lunch break.

Time

Depending on the Family Service Centre that serves your estate, it may be difficult to schedule an appointment with the social service professionals, and most centres only open several evenings a week. However, for most centres, counsellors are rostered to work on Saturdays. It may be easier to arrange for an appointment with counselling centres on the other hand, but popular ones may have a waiting list, and the first appointment may take longer than you hope.

Working with other "systems" 

Although most therapists think systemically, i.e. Understand that people lives are intrinsically linked to their families, school/ workplace/ communities and other institutions, some therapists may not be comfortable in working with different parties, but as a social worker, this is a role that I have performed on many occasions. We can collaborate about ways to work with those whom you would like to involve in your goals. Do you need to work closely with the school or hospital to discuss plans for your or others' needs? Do you want to join a club or engage your relatives of friends?

Culture, race and class conscious

I have many years of experience working in a diverse environment. I listen carefully to each person's background in relation to their struggles, skills, values and hopes. I understand that people often experience discomfort in their sessions while trying to find a good fit in terms of Counselling. If you would like to speak to someone of a similar cultural background as you who has worked with me previously about their experience or check with them something, feel free to let me know! Your assurance is my priority.

Not affiliated to religious institutions

This can feel very liberating to many people seeking counselling. If spirituality or religion is important to you, this could be brought up during our sessions together. 

Mental Conditions

Over the years I have worked closely with many people experiencing mental conditions that affects their lives and those around them. They may feel great distress. Many of them may receive formal support with hospitals but many do not. Let's evaluate together ways of dealing with life, and figure out ways to be your "preferred self" in line with your values and hopes. 

Disabilities

I have collaborated with many people who have disabilities to pursue their hopes for themselves. We can work together holistically and systemically to do with your loved ones or yourself. Home visits addresses accessibility issues.

Unhand us, Self-Dislike!

Every time i look at memes or articles about self love, I am reminded how difficult it is especially when I see many women struggle with blame and guilt. They search for redemption, a way to forgive themselves of the expectations they have been recruited into. Yet I know it's not easy for them to do that with all the messages around them that sets them out to exposure to Self doubt, Self dislike, and measure themselves in ways that tell them they are not good enough and not done enough.

But sometimes we are able to be kind to ourselves. Whether it's the chocolate or beer we've treated ourselves, the clothes/accessory we just had to have, the 10 mins nap and lateness, or the times we ignore Guilt's nagging to enjoy the camaraderie of another person. It's the day we wore or did not wear makeup for a change. But when even that is difficult, as self love is in a world that profits from our guilt, we can still build a culture of rejecting self hatred with the women around us.

Some of my ideas:

1. We acknowledge to a woman who feels bad that it's normal to feel that way.
2. We share what we appreciate about their friendship to us.
3. We ask what we can do for the moment at least to keep self hatred at bay.
4. We can talk about the hopes we have if and when self hatred is at bay.

How do you keep Self dislike and Guilt at bay for your friend or yourself despite the nagging messages whispering in your ear? What tips you have learnt in this journey of life has been useful for you?

"

Dear friend-who-is-struggling,

I'm sorry that you feel that way, and I'm sorry that society has recruited you to making you Guilt trip and ruminate at what you could have done better, what you could have changed, what you can do now.

Please remember that we are with you, whether cheerleaders or supporters or team members, we work together to achieve these hopes we have for our community. We see you. We recognize your value and worth and we want to see you succeed in your ways and experience Love and Safety and Fulfillment, in your own terms.

Warmly with lots of love, Liz

"

A letter of Appreciation

Nora was first introduced to the Family Service Centre (Tanjong Pagar) by David P, during his NUS placement. This was a vulnerable time for this incredible strong woman who wanted to do right by her children. We paced alongside her, listening to her struggles, her hopes, her initiatives and discussed options with her.

In Narrative Therapy, we talk about people in our Team of Life. We were honoured to be in Nora's Team of Life. "The moment i'm out from prison. I felt that i'm the useless person in the world. But my perception and thinking changed ... all your effort make me feel even i'm a ex-prisoner but i still deserved a chance to move on."

• Who are your cheerleaders who believe in you?
• What do they see inside you that makes them cheer you on? 
• Would you like to recruit more people to be in your Team?