Every time i look at memes or articles about self love, I am reminded how difficult it is especially when I see many women struggle with blame and guilt. They search for redemption, a way to forgive themselves of the expectations they have been recruited into. Yet I know it's not easy for them to do that with all the messages around them that sets them out to exposure to Self doubt, Self dislike, and measure themselves in ways that tell them they are not good enough and not done enough.
But sometimes we are able to be kind to ourselves. Whether it's the chocolate or beer we've treated ourselves, the clothes/accessory we just had to have, the 10 mins nap and lateness, or the times we ignore Guilt's nagging to enjoy the camaraderie of another person. It's the day we wore or did not wear makeup for a change. But when even that is difficult, as self love is in a world that profits from our guilt, we can still build a culture of rejecting self hatred with the women around us.
Some of my ideas:
- We acknowledge to a woman who feels bad that it's normal to feel that way.
- We share what we appreciate about their friendship to us.
- We ask what we can do for the moment at least to keep self hatred at bay.
- We can talk about the hopes we have if and when self hatred is at bay.
How do you keep Self dislike and Guilt at bay for your friend or yourself despite the nagging messages whispering in your ear? What tips you have learnt in this journey of life has been useful for you?
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Dear friend-who-is-struggling,
I'm sorry that you feel that way, and I'm sorry that society has recruited you to making you Guilt trip and ruminate at what you could have done better, what you could have changed, what you can do now.
Please remember that we are with you, whether cheerleaders or supporters or team members, we work together to achieve these hopes we have for our community. We see you. We recognize your value and worth and we want to see you succeed in your ways and experience Love and Safety and Fulfillment, in your own terms.
Warmly with lots of love, Liz
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